Setbacks...

"Setbacks are setups for comebacks!"

You've probably heard that one more than once if you've listened to or read any self development material.  Hearing it is one thing,  REALLY believing it is quite another!

We can CHOOSE between two mindsets.  Put succinctly, "I'm a victim" OR, "I'm a victor"!

The undeniable truth is this... not all circumstances in life are going to be good or easy!  NONE of us will get through this life without some trouble, trial, or tragedy.  We ALL face challenges to one degree or another.  When it happens, we react based on one of the two mindsets just mentioned above.

The first mindset, "I'm a victim", is marked by several things...

• Drifting through life with no direction or purpose.
• Surprise that something bad could happen to me.
• Locked into a "why me" attitude.
• Anger, turned to bitterness in time.
• Rationalizing failure or inaction.  Excuse making expert. 

The second mindset, "I'm a victor", is marked by these characteristics...

•  Living life with purpose and direction.
• Understanding that bad things can and do happen.
• Instead of asking "why me?", asking, "what needs to be done, how do I respond, what can I learn?"
• Having a willingness to forgive, to change what can be changed, and to move on.
• Understanding that what happens to me can't always be controlled, but, how I respond can be!

Some people live and die "under the circumstances".  They never move past the challenges or difficulties, even after they have past.  Others choose to learn from them, grow from them, and keep moving forward.

This is not meant to minimize or trivialize bad circumstances!  None are ever easy or fun.  Some are terrible beyond description!  However, the mindset of the person has everything to do with where they end up!

I think of wounded veterans returning from war with missing limbs or worse.  I think of Joni Eareckson Tada, who, at the tender age of 17, broke her neck in a diving accident in the Chesapeake Bay, becoming a quadriplegic.  She didn't give up on life.  Instead, she has an international ministry to people with disabilities!

Whether you are experiencing personal loss, relationship struggles, business failure, or even health issues, you can eventually allow those setbacks to become setups for comebacks, IF, you have an "I'm a victor" mindset!  

A Total Check Up...

"You need a check up from the neck up!"  Ever heard that statement?

Too much introspection can have negative consequences.  However, healthy self analysis, on a regular basis, is good.  It helps us to stay aware of how well we are progressing in self development.

Our self check up has to be more comprehensive than "from the neck up".  I propose a simple guideline to cover the basic areas of our self-check.  It involves the "THREE H's"... HEAD, HEART, and HANDS!

To summarize, here's what I mean...

HEAD:  Do I have the right information?  Am I adding to my knowledge?

HEART:  How's my attitude, my mindset, my perspective?

HANDS:  Am I practically applying all the above?  Am I organized, efficient, and doing?

That is a simple, memorable, way of looking at our "total" self.  The "Three H's" can be used to check out whatever area of our life we choose... physical, relational, financial, spiritual, business or work, etc.  In all cases we can ask the three questions... "Do I know?", "Is my attitude right?", and "Am I doing it well?"... Head, Heart, and Hands!

The maxim, "Know thyself", most often attributed to Socrates, is ancient and good advice!  Sometimes an honest self examination is painful, but it will always be productive, IF we follow it up with purposeful, positive, action.  In other words, if, rather than sulking over the things we see about ourselves that we don't like, we begin to work on positive changes in those areas, we will be the better for it!

So, go ahead and check out the "Three H's"!

The TRUE Measure of Self Worth

Two extremes... I'm a worthless piece of garbage, not as good as others, OR, I'm better than, more important than, others...

An integral part of developing our potential is having a healthy sense of self worth.  If we don't understand or accept our own value, if we have a poor or unbalanced view of ourselves, we will be hindered from the possibility of even comprehending our potential, much less allowing it to be developed.

Unfortunately, our society tends to measure self worth by the wrong standards and we sometimes get caught up in that trend.  If we gauge our self worth by aptitude, assets, or accomplishments, we are missing the mark!   Don't get me wrong, I believe all three of those can be important in life, but NOT acting as the measure of our self worth.  All of those can come and go.  If we lose our ability to think or do, if we lose our assets, if we don't accomplish our goals, are we worth less as a person?  What about the severely mentally challenged, the extremely poor, the below average achiever just drifting through life?  Are they worth less as a human?  There has to be a better measure of self worth!

The TRUE measure of self worth is something I call the IV Quotient.  We ALL possess this, whether we realize it or not!  When we finally comprehend and believe this particular "measure" of self worth, we have a solid foundation, on which we can build our house of potential.

The IV Quotient... our inherent value!  It is not something we earned or accomplished.  It has nothing to do with ability or action.  We didn't give it to ourselves and we can't spend it away.  No one can take it from us either.

Our inherent value is present because we were made to be something unique and special in the entire world.  Nothing else in this wide, wonder filled, universe is comparable to us!  No star, planet, animal, plant, or anything else we can think of, is as complex and awesome as a human being.  I picture my inherent value by imagining a tag being placed on me at my conception... Body by God!  (Merchandise gets more expensive when accompanied by the right name tag or brand!)  You don't get a more prestigious brand than that one!  We ALL carry that tag!

That means that no one who ever lived is insignificant or of less value.  Even the severely challenged are just as valuable as anyone else.

If you accept the concept of the IV Quotient, your life will be much fuller!  You are inherently valuable, special, and unique!  Go develop your potential!

Means To An End

Reaching our FULL Potential is obviously a process.  We have to want to "reach" before it can begin to happen.  According to Steve Scott, in his DVD mentoring series, "Master Strategies of Super Achievers", the majority of people just drift through life.  Drifters haven't made a specific decision to develop their FULL Potential.

When we make the decision to take responsibility for our personal development, there are several means to that end.  Our growth happens, not by accident or chance, but on purpose, as we take advantage of the means at our disposal.

One of the most effective means... mentors.  Mentors are people who have achieved some success in the areas of life we are looking to grow.  They have something to teach us from their own personal experience.

We can have several mentors, not necessarily limiting ourselves to just one.  Some are better mentors in the area of family relationships, some better in business, some in physical conditioning, etc.

Our mentors do not have to be people we know personally.  Although that is great when possible, it doesn't always happen.  I can think of at least three mentors I have had who I didn't know personally.  Although I met two of them briefly, all their mentoring came from a distance, without them knowing it!  What I learned from them was absolutely life changing!

How do you acquire a mentor?

1. Determine which area of life you want to focus on improving. (i.e. physical, emotional, financial, business, relational, spiritual, etc.)
2. Look for the person who has some proven success in that area.
3. Approach them, stating your desire to improve, sharing that you respect their success in that area, and ask them if they would be willing to invest some time helping you improve.
4. Be a good listener, a good questioner, accountable, and and willing to act on their advice.
5. If you can't find a person who will deal with you directly, look for someone you can watch from a distance, read their material, listen to their presentations, etc.  Much can be gleaned that way.  As previously stated, that has happened to me more than once.

Some other effective means of personal development...

•  Books, CD's, DVD's, seminars
• Failure and other painful experiences, when viewed from the right perspective and responded to in the right manner.  We obviously wouldn't choose this means on purpose, but, the reality is, bad things do happen in life.  We can't always control that, but we can control our response and learn.
• Close peer relationships.  In addition to acquiring mentors, living life with a few close friends, who have our best interest and are willing to be honest with us, can help us grow.

 This post is not meant to be an exhaustive list of all the means to reach your FULL Potential.  My intent is to get you thinking and to give you a head start on the road of personal growth.

Reach YOUR Potential!

Born March 24, 1820, Frances Jane Crosby, better known as Fanny Crosby, became blind as an infant.  A blind girl in that time could have crawled up in a corner and given up on life.  This one didn't!  By the end of the 19th century, she was a household name and one of the most prominent figures in American evangelical life.  She wrote 8000 hymns, with over 100 million copies of her songs in print.  She wrote over 1000 secular poems, had four books of poetry published, and two best selling autobiographies.  She was committed to Christian rescue missions and was a well known public speaker.  It seems that she worked hard at reaching her potential!  

We are all unique!  After God made us, He threw away the mold!  There are no more like us.

Each of us have different capacities.  We are like drinking glasses... some of us hold 8 ounces, some 16 ounces, and a few 24 ounces!  Our capacity is not the issue, we had nothing to do with that, it was our Creator's decision.  What we do with the capacity we've been given IS the issue!!

Fanny Crosby couldn't control the fact that she was a blind girl in the early 1800's.  She could control how she responded to her situation!

I cannot control the fact that I don't have the IQ of Einstein.  I can control how much I feed the intellect I do have, learning as much as I can.

I cannot control the fact that I'm not as tall and talented as former basketball player, Michael Jordan.  I can control how committed I am to keeping the body I have in good, healthy shape.

It is useless for me to compare myself to people like Einstein and Jordan.  It is very useful for me to look at myself, understand how I'm made, what my potential is, and what I can do to maximize that potential!  

So, avoid comparing yourself to others and get on with reaching YOUR potential!

How can you reach your potential?  In my opinion, it is a life long process.  Reaching your potential is a journey more than a one time arrival at a destination.  Everyday you can get a little better in some area of your life.  That can happen through several different means or channels...  More in the next post!

Generations...

My two granddaughters, pictured on the right, are the SIXTH generation with which I have had contact in my family!  As a very young child, I remember my paternal grandfather's mother, my great-grandmother.  Then there was my grandfather, my father, myself and my siblings, my son, and now, his daughters.  If I live long enough, I may see generation seven, my great-grandchildren.  I don't expect to see generation eight, unless I live close to 100 years!


The older I get, (only 56 years old at this point!), the more I realize how blessed I am to see all those generations.  Life should be composed of lots of family life, good family life.  When we leave this planet for our final destination, we should leave behind good memories for surviving generations and a legacy for succeeding generations.

That means that we must live life on purpose, determined to make the most of every moment with our family.  The picture on the upper left was taken just yesterday.  I was watching Makena and her little sister, Cheyenne, while Dad was on a business conference call.  I was about to speak on the call as well.  Makena was having a great time with Grandad, or GeeDad, as she calls me.  She insisted that I put that hat on, so that we both had hats on.  I was thinking about what I was going to say on the conference call, but realized that this was much more important to her.  I snapped the picture and am very glad I did.  Check out the look on her face!  It's priceless!!!  I realize how important those moments were.

I know that, as I impact Makena's life, I am ultimately impacting generations to come.  It's worth the investment of time and energy!  And, it's FUN!!!